“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
— John Kabat-Zinn
Psychotherapy for Couples
Over time, relationships can become shaped by patterns that neither partner fully intends. The same exchanges repeat, certain topics become difficult to approach, and attempts to resolve things may leave you feeling misunderstood or further apart.
These patterns often take on a kind of internal logic—ways of relating that begin to feel inevitable, even when they are frustrating or unwanted. In some cases, this can lead to new injuries—moments where something is said or done that leaves one or both of you feeling betrayed, rejected, or alone.
Psychotherapy for couples offers a vital opportunity to step back and reflect in the presence of a neutral and understanding other. With space to slow down and look at what is happening between you, patterns that once felt automatic can begin to make more sense. This can open the possibility of responding differently—toward yourself and each other—with greater clarity and intention.
If you’re considering this kind of work, you’re welcome to reach out to schedule a consultation and learn more.
FAQ
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Couples therapy can be helpful when something in the relationship feels stuck, strained, or unclear—whether that shows up as ongoing conflict, distance, or difficulty communicating. It can also be useful when facing a major life transition or important decision, such as getting married, having children, or navigating a significant change together. You don’t need to be in crisis to begin; many couples seek therapy simply to better understand what is happening between them and how to move forward.
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Most sessions are held together. At times, I may meet with each partner individually to better understand each person’s experience and perspective. This is discussed openly and used to support the work of the couple as a whole.
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No, individual therapy is not required. At times, it can be helpful, and we can discuss whether it may be useful as the work unfolds.
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Couples therapy is not about deciding who is right or wrong. Instead, the focus is on understanding the patterns that develop between you and how they are experienced by each partner. From there, it becomes possible to relate differently and make more intentional choices.
Although a couples therapist has expertise and training that will likely be helpful, you are the ultimate expert on your own relationship.
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It’s common for partners to feel differently about beginning therapy. An initial consultation can be a helpful way to ask questions, get a sense of the process, and decide together whether it feels like a good fit.
If one or both of you is experiencing ambivalence about ongoing therapy, you may be interested in focused assessment.
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Yes, I offer focused assessment for couples. Assessment is a separate process from therapy and can be helpful as a starting point or alongside ongoing work or simply as a stand-alone opportunity to learn more. A couples assessment provides a more structured opportunity to understand relational patterns, areas of tension, and how each partner experiences the relationship, with feedback to guide next steps. Assessment may also be helpful for couples who are not seeking ongoing therapy but are interested in gaining a clearer understanding of the relationship.